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Married and Friends?

Posted by on July 18, 2012

Isn’t weird how easy it is to be unkind to the people you love the most? In fact, this is one of the topmost things I wish I could change about myself. Sometimes, God gives me gentle reminders to act in love and grace.

Like yesterday. Last night was date night. It was 38 C/ 102 F, and we don’t have AC. I dropped my phone in the toilet (there’s an upcoming FAIL post for ya), I have a presentation due and am in the midst of a tiring week-long class. Oh, and the IRS and I are having a small disagreement. As you might have guessed, I was totally datable.

Varun and I got shwarma from a place in our neighborhood and headed over to the park. I was agitated and stressed and not very kind, yet Varun was patient and pleasant. After licking the juices of spicy chicken off of our fingers, we busted out our new bocce ball set. Remember when Varun powned me at mini-golf? Yeah, I had very, very low expectations for bocce ball.

But guess what? Apparently, being half-italian makes you awesome at bocce ball. HUZZAH.

Of course, within about 4 rounds, two of our Burmese neighbor kids asked to play. Against my better judgment, we handed two kindergartener’s heavy, plastic balls and instructed them to throw the balls across the park. And guess what? No one died. (Not even close). At one point, one of our little buddies asked me, “Are you a team?”

A lot of the kids in our neighborhood assume Varun and I are living together (maybe because we’re young, maybe because we’re mixed race). So I said, “Yes. Actually, we’re married. He’s my husband and I’m his wife”.

My little friend grinned and said, “Oh! And now you’re friends, right?!”

I giggled, thinking about the possible thoughts that inspired that comment.

“Yes. We are friends”.

Varun warmly congratulated me on my win, and we headed home together. As we crossed the street, I thought about the little boy’s words. I hate that I take stress out on my gracious and loving husband. I hate that sometimes I get so caught up in plans, finances, talking about schedules and doing chores that I forget this man is not just my business partner. Do I let marriage and the stressors of life eclipse friendship? My small friend (unknowingly?) made a great point: friendship does not need to end in marriage; rather, marriage is an opportunity to continue to grow in friendship.

(Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a phone in a rice-filled tupperware that needs some attention….)

5 Responses to Married and Friends?

  1. Gayle

    One of the joys of marriage is that we know, at the end of the day, our hubby loves us in spite of our failings – including being tired, cranky, etc. – and will forgive us our shortcomings, even as we forgive them theirs. (This is not to say that we shouldn’t be trying to do better!)

    • Amelia Rana

      So true! Thanks for the encouraging reminder. (Glad I’m not the only one with shortcomings in the marriage department!)

  2. Lisa

    I’ve got to admit, my blood pressure went way up at the thought of giving small children bocce balls. I’m glad no one was bludgeoned.

  3. Reb

    I accidentally washed a digital camera, stuck that bad boy in rice for 3 days and it still works! Amazing!
    Also, I am guilty of being meaner to my loved ones than I would be to strangers. And caught myself talking to my husband/kids in a way that I would NEVER let someone else talk to them. I’m working on it, I don’t want to be that wife/mom.

Thoughts? I love hearing from you!