It’s been a tough week. I’ve been crazy busy with work conferences and school seminars, and I’ve had a few pieces of sad news. Yesterday, I learned that there were two bombings in Hyderabad. [In case you’re new, our adoption file was sent to Hyderabad in December. This means our child will be from the state of Andhra Pradesh and is likely living in an orphanage in Hyderabad.]
This is heartbreaking. Seeing pictures of shards of glass and shards of lives strewn across the dusty streets makes my stomach cramp.
If I’m honest, this particular attack jumped off the page for me because I feel personally connected to it. As soon as I saw the headline, my brain began buzzing. Was it near an orphanage? Were children hurt? Were children orphaned by this? And then, the questions swirled in a more personal direction. Was our child orphaned? Was our child hurt?
And then it hit me. Somewhere between shoving my cell phone into my pocket, and fumbling for the keys in the cold, I realized: if it’s not this trauma, it’s something else. Children become orphaned through loss: disease, neglect, poverty, murder, accidents, abandonment…
I knew this. This is why we began the adoption process. And yet yesterday, it hit me on an emotional level. Whether it’s a bomb blast or years of impossibly poor rice harvests, our child will come to us bearing loss and hurt.
I’d like to say these thoughts drive me to my knees. And they do, but it’s a roundabout route.
I freaked out. I reread the article and imagined horrific things. I called Varun. He prayed. I cried a bit.
A dear friend reminded me that God sees and that this breaks His heart.
I don’t understand why bombings happen or why children become orphans. I do know, though, that we can pray and cry and love and choose and learn and change.
Today, I’m praying for our baby. I’m praying for the city of Hyderabad, reeling from terror and violence, for lives taken and hearts splintered.
Awake! Why are you sleeping, O Lord?
Rouse yourself! Do not reject us forever!
Why do you hide your face?
Why do you forget our affliction and oppression?…
Rise up; come to our help!
Redeem us for the sake of your steadfast love!