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Babies and Books

Posted by on June 24, 2013

I passed the tiny bundle to Varun, careful to place her head gently on his waiting arms. As we gazed into the sleepy face of our dear friends’ newborn daughter, the conversation turned to our To-Be-Child. Joyfully, the now-mother-of-3 told me that maybe her daughter and our baby were born around the same time, and maybe they’ll be best friends. We laughed and shared with them how the process is a bit stalled, but who knows? Maybe.

Over dinner, Varun and I reflected on the fact that every close friend who’s had a child in the past year has echoed this sentiment: maybe this baby we’re cuddling is like yours whom you can’t yet hold. At a moment in their lives where it’s all about their growing family and bundle of joy, the love and thoughtfulness of these statements is overwhelming.

June marks the official 1 Year Anniversary of our adoption journey. I’ll admit, I’m surprised how emotionally invested we are. It turns out that the process of filling out paperwork, giving fingerprints, applying for grants and paying agency fees actually expands the heart. Each day, our prayers become a little bit more fervent, our desire for our child a little stronger.

To aid us in preparing to bring a child into our home via adoption, our agency sent us a stack of books. As it turns out, my counselling placement affords me the opportunity to read counselling related books. Win.

adoption books

The first book I read was the Connected Child. It was phenomenal. While it was honest about the challenges and difficulties of parenting a child who was adopted, the book is chock-full of practical tips, encouraging stories and a hope-giving strategy. Turning the pages, my heart broke all over again for the challenges that so many little ones face due to abuse, neglect, institutionalization, loss, trafficking…. As I processed these thoughts with Varun, we began dreaming about the ways we can be involved in caring for and journeying alongside vulnerable kiddies. Today, the full picture is not yet clear. However, we do know that as we wait to be matched with an orphanage/RIPA, we can prepare our hearts and brains by reading and learning.

The Connected Child was a recommendation from a friend and I’m so glad I read it (I can’t wait for Varun to start it!). I have the feeling I’ll b re-reading and re-reading it… I’m curious: what books have you or others found helpful regarding adoptive families? What resources do you suggest?

7 Responses to Babies and Books

  1. Sarah

    As if I have any idea what I’m talking about! Just wanted to say that M & C have that Sesame Street book on their wishlist, along with “The Colors of Us.” Let me know what you think of it! We’re all praying for your little one as well 🙂

    • Amelia

      Aww, thanks! I’ll have to send them a copy! I read it–it’s super cute! Thanks for the prayers!

  2. Lisa

    We have books from a series: The Baby Owners Manual and The Toddler Owners Manual. They are written like the owners manuals you get with electronics, which actually makes it easy to understand basic issues. They’re really helpful with parenting questions like, “How much should my child weigh. When can I start solids. OR What are some good tips for travel with little ones?” They are good for any family.

    • Amelia

      Oh, neat! I think the Engineer in this family would love to read an owner’s manual!!

  3. gaylemcguire

    Haven’t read any of those books but so happy that so many are now available for adoptive families. Always remember that even those babies who have not suffered abuse, neglect or institutionalization have still suffered greatly from rejection and abandonment issues which they will carry with them their whole lives unless someone like you and Varun are praying for them and loving them, and ministering into those areas very specifically.
    YOUR child-to-be will be especially blessed to have 2 loving parents who not only want and love them, but have the background (training) that will lead to a fuller understanding of the personality issues and emotional damage that this precious little one has already begun to experience, sometimes even before birth.

    • Amelia

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Great point, any child who enters a family via adoption has experienced tremendous loss and grief in their young life. Prenatal experiences are also a huge factor, another sobering thought.

      Thank you for your encouragement and prayers. Our child is blessed to have such loving friends encouraging us along the way!!!

  4. JenP

    I LOVE the book “Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew” by Sherrie Eldridge. As an adoptee, and an adoptive mom this book has helped me a TON! I also love the book “My Adopted Child There’s No One Like You” by Leman & Leman.. Read it to both my kids often =) Now im going to go buy The Connected Child =)

Thoughts? I love hearing from you!