I passed the tiny bundle to Varun, careful to place her head gently on his waiting arms. As we gazed into the sleepy face of our dear friends’ newborn daughter, the conversation turned to our To-Be-Child. Joyfully, the now-mother-of-3 told me that maybe her daughter and our baby were born around the same time, and maybe they’ll be best friends. We laughed and shared with them how the process is a bit stalled, but who knows? Maybe.
Over dinner, Varun and I reflected on the fact that every close friend who’s had a child in the past year has echoed this sentiment: maybe this baby we’re cuddling is like yours whom you can’t yet hold. At a moment in their lives where it’s all about their growing family and bundle of joy, the love and thoughtfulness of these statements is overwhelming.
June marks the official 1 Year Anniversary of our adoption journey. I’ll admit, I’m surprised how emotionally invested we are. It turns out that the process of filling out paperwork, giving fingerprints, applying for grants and paying agency fees actually expands the heart. Each day, our prayers become a little bit more fervent, our desire for our child a little stronger.
To aid us in preparing to bring a child into our home via adoption, our agency sent us a stack of books. As it turns out, my counselling placement affords me the opportunity to read counselling related books. Win.
The first book I read was the Connected Child. It was phenomenal. While it was honest about the challenges and difficulties of parenting a child who was adopted, the book is chock-full of practical tips, encouraging stories and a hope-giving strategy. Turning the pages, my heart broke all over again for the challenges that so many little ones face due to abuse, neglect, institutionalization, loss, trafficking…. As I processed these thoughts with Varun, we began dreaming about the ways we can be involved in caring for and journeying alongside vulnerable kiddies. Today, the full picture is not yet clear. However, we do know that as we wait to be matched with an orphanage/RIPA, we can prepare our hearts and brains by reading and learning.
The Connected Child was a recommendation from a friend and I’m so glad I read it (I can’t wait for Varun to start it!). I have the feeling I’ll b re-reading and re-reading it… I’m curious: what books have you or others found helpful regarding adoptive families? What resources do you suggest?